Reddit is calling out a dad hard for unequal treatment of his two children. He took to the “AITA” forum to pose his dilemma to the community, starting out by explaining he has a biological daughter named Darla with his ex-girlfriend. The couple broke up before she found out she was pregnant, and the Reddit user says that he is skeptical that he’s even the father (“I know it’s a possibility but also there’s a possibility she’s not my daughter,” he wrote).
He went on to explain that he was “pressured” by his parents to allow Darla to have his last name and offer the family a small amount of financial support for childcare. “I never really had a relationship with Darla but I would see her every once in a while when she was in my parents’ house with her mother,” he explained. “Darla’s mom hates me for whatever reason too so that made our relationship even more distant.”
Now the Reddit user is married to someone else, and he’s helped raise her son, Brian, since he was a child. “He’s going to college this year so I paid completely for his education,” he wrote. “However Darla’s mom got very angry when she found out because I haven’t done the same to Darla. Apparently she’s going to college this year too as her mom didn’t had enough money to pay her tuition and she had to work to pay for it.”
His family is completely on her side and calling him an “a—hole.” Now, he’s reconsidering his actions and turning to Reddit for thoughts. “Maybe I should have helped her?” he asked.
Reddit users unpacked the situation — starting from the very first paragraph, when he explained his relationship to Darla. “OP obviously your parents had a relationship with your daughter if you had doubts on paternity you could have cleared those up many years ago,” one person wrote. “You never bothered just like you never bothered to even attempt a relationship with your daughter. Seeing her occasionally when she was at your parents’ isn’t trying.”
Many, many people chimed in to explain, in very clear terms, why Darla’s mom isn’t happy with the Reddit user. “You COULD have had a paternity test when Darla was born,” someone noted. “You COULD have paid more to care for Darla, and gotten a parenting plan to allow you to spend time with your daughter at any time. You CHOSE to pay a minimum amount of child support and make excuses about your daughter. I can see why Darla’s mother doesn’t care for you.”
Users implored him to look at this situation from the perspective of Darla, who never got to have a relationship with her dad. One person wrote: “You ever wonder how your daughter feels about this? About having an absent father who practically denies her existence while playing doting dad to his step child? Did you even WANT a relationship with her, because obviously your parents have a relationship with her?”
There are many, many routes this Reddit user could have taken as Darla was growing up but didn’t. It’s also absolutely confusing and frustrating that his parents have more of a relationship with Darla than he does. What do you think the OP should do now?
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